One Joy of Motherhood

There are some things I never thought about when preparing to become a parent. Being the "poop police" was one of them. Maybe your children don't have this problem, but a couple of mine do.

Have you ever had to have the following conversation?

Mom: Honey, did you poop today.

Child: No.

Mom: If you don't poop by dinner you will have to have a suppository.

Child: No. Please no. I hate them.

Mom: I know, it would be much better if you could do it on your own. But if you don't, we'll have to give you one. Why don't you go sit on the potty to see if you can go?

Child: Okay.

Or this conversation?

Child: I want Sugar Puffs for breakfast.

Mom: No, it doesn't have enough fiber for you and you need to poop.

Child: Can I have a banana then?

Mom: No, you won't poop if you do. How about some apple juice?

Child: *sigh* Okay.

This one is my favorite.

Mom is waiting patiently at a store, friend's house, church, or anywhere when she hears:

Child: Mom. I went poop!

Mom: Great job. Now wipe really well and flush.

Child: No, you've got to see it. You'll be so proud of me. I didn't even need a suppository! Look how big it is. Mom, come see my poop! (All said very loudly.)

Mom: Okay. Wow. Good job pooping. Now wipe and flush.

Child: Okay. We have to tell Daddy too, okay? Tell him how big it was.

Ah, the joys of Motherhood. :)